my main goal in life is genuinely just to have a good day
five year plan? have a good day. plans this weekend? have a good day. why i’m doing what i’m doing? bc i wanna have a good day. it is all about having a good day. nothing’s as precious as the present moment. neither the past nor the future. therefore i will make sure to spend it having a good day
we should talk more about how every decision you make as an adult leaves you with the same sensation you got at a friend’s house the morning after a sleepover when you’re the first to wake up. It’s dreadful and a homesickness and loneliness and you want your cups and you want your comforter and it’s just you on your own trying to get through.
if you’re reading this, im embarrassingly in love with you.
At some point, i forgot when your birthday was. I didnt remember the shade of blue your eyes were or how they liked to stare at me and whisper things i wished your mouth would say. I never forgot your laugh though. For some reason its engraved in my mind and I hope it stays that way.
If youre reading this, I wish things were different. I wish everything I felt was reciprocated. That you meant every word you ever said to me but ended up forgetting about. I wish you didnt always come and go, Im not a door mat. Mostly I wish, you could see how special we are. It actually didn’t hit me until you came back into my life and suddenly I remembered what love should feel like.
But the world isn’t perfect nor is it in our favor. Maybe it never will.
In the meantime, as we continue growing older, I’m laying this to rest. I only hope to love someone else the way i love you. And I mean that in the corniest way ever. i know this makes me sound bonkers but even my friends tell me I’ve never spoken about someone like how I talk about you and that solidified how special you were and how special this love is. I hope to find that again some day. I wish telling you this in person would make a difference.
But Im tired and my heart lies with you. I dont think it ever wont but that does not mean the door is always open for you.
It isnt. This is where I close it and lock it.
Cute date idea: making eachother cum at the same time.
